I’ve spent many years working for organisations that support people who have suffered domestic violence. Whenever I was supporting someone who had come through an abusive relationship my advice was always to look after yourself first and then you’re in a better position to look after other people. Many of the people I supported were trying to look after children, trying to hold down jobs and be there for extended family impacted by the situation, but were suffering because they hadn’t prioritised their own well being first. So I’d often use the oxygen on an airplane analogy, get your own oxygen first and then you’re able to help others to get theirs.
I think the analogy transcends to everyone, ensuring you can breath before tending to others is far more sustainable than desperately trying to hold everything together by doing everything for everybody else whilst running yourself into the ground. I feel like many of us feel guilty for putting ourselves first, like it’s somehow selfish. Well, it isn’t. If you love and nourish yourself fully then you emanate that energy to the people around you. If you think about all the people you admire and respect, you invariably get the sense that they look after themselves, they love themselves in an egoless way.
I realised for the past few months I haven’t got my own oxygen first, and I’ve felt pretty low at times because of that. So I’ve committed to look after myself from now on, because I want to emanate love, peace, health, nourishment in my work, in my relationships, with strangers even. It’s such a simple process but one that can be easily forgotten when we’re busy being busy.
So why not do something for yourself today, look after yourself and let the respect you have for you inspire those around you.
