Today, as I write the blog, I feel pretty good. I’m curious as to why today I feel good, when a week and a half ago I did not feel good. And why back in March I felt pretty excited about everything, but May, on the whole, was a completely different story.
What’s all that about?
I can theorise all I want. And to some degree things will be helping. Such as bringing more whole foods back into my diet, easing off on the alcohol, having more regular therapy, finally coming out of the post Covid fatigue I’ve had for a few weeks. That all makes sense. And yet, sometimes it doesn’t. Because I also had a mammogram recently for the first time since my cancer diagnosis and treatment last year, and so I am in the no woman’s land waiting for any kind of results. That really should cause me to not feel good, right? I also have regular concern about the planet, which should alter my equilibrium for sure.
But what I’m realising is that things aren’t actually that straight forward in terms of our wellbeing. We can do as much as possible to support ourselves, but a huge part of wellbeing and resilience is actually how we nurture, love and support ourselves in the inevitable and often unruly ups and downs of our emotions.
It is a normal human experience to feel a lot, sometimes we feel we’re ahead, sometimes we feel we’re behind, sometimes that’s impacted by our life circumstances, sometimes it’s completely random. But what I’m coming to learn is that the pinnacle of wellbeing is to be loving and compassionate to ourselves however we’re feeling.
For now I’m just going to enjoy how I’m feeling. I am going to prance around my kitchen listening to Kylie unashamedly. And if, when, things inevitably change, either the doctors call with bad news, or I just feel a bit down for no apparent reason whatsoever, I am going to listen to myself and do whatever I need in that moment too.