Me and money have had a turbulent relationship over the years. It has turned up unannounced at various important events, not been around when I needed it most, tormented me mentally as I worried about it in it’s absence, challenged me in arguments with comments such as ‘it’s me or the drink Hannah!’ I have mostly hated thinking about it, hated thinking about the way I felt when I spent it, hated the sharp shooting pain of panic when I’ve thought about how much more of it I needed to pay the rent, or bills, or the ever growing credit card bill.
What I have learnt more recently however, and particularly since owning my own business, is that it is possible to change my relationship to money so that there is more flow and less attachment. This helpful video blog I saw by Marie Forleo shows tips on how to build a better relationship with money and one of the things I took her up on was to give some away, and be happy about it. I’ve given money away to charity before after carefully calculating the amount I could spare down to the last pence. So this time around, I decided to give some away when I wasn’t feeling particularly flush. It was just before Christmas and I gave without checking exactly how much I could spare, without worry. And in actual fact it felt great, it felt like two fingers to all my self sabotage around money. My money flowed and it made me feel that bit freer from it. On top of giving it away I said out loud ‘there’s plenty more where that came from.’ Money isn’t part of us. It’s separate and it doesn’t define who we are and it certainly doesn’t warrant the amount of concern, worry, panic and fear that I have attached to it in the past.
So now I commit to being relaxed about it, to not let it make my decisions, to make decisions and believe that money will follow. In effect, to have self belief and let whatever money I need play catch up. Just like I do in other areas of life, I don’t allow other things to control the way I feel. I sort that the way I feel out myself and the right person/money/opportunities miraculously come along.
