I’m noticing a lot of burn out at the moment. I think collectively our reservoirs of optimism and joy are pretty low. Even though we are supposedly heading out of the pandemic, it is still rife. I know a lot of people are navigating Covid right now, and it still feels hard to get into hope and joy and forward planning with a belief that the things we want to see happening will indeed actually happen.
My partner has been working away for 19 weeks, and is due to arrive back in the UK this weekend. I have noticed I am not allowing myself to believe it will happen. I’ve noticed I’m feeling a bit doubtful that something won’t delay his return. I’ve heard myself say internally ‘I’ll let myself get excited once he’s landed in Gatwick.’ And as a result I notice I feel quite unmotivated and lethargic.
I’m hoping this year to move house as well, and to go on a month long trip to Sri Lanka. But I notice I am holding all these things at arms length, I don’t fully believe they will happen and I don’t feel hugely resilient and able to stay energised and optimistic if I get really excited and then it all falls apart.
But then I remember all that we share in our Bird webinars and workshops on resilience. How resilience is actually about being alive to all that happens, that it isn’t about living tentatively in case things don’t go exactly to plan, it’s about expecting that things might not look how we’d hoped but remembering to trust that we can learn and grow in the face of that uncertainty and change. It’s about remembering to put in place self-care strategies so we feel safe and supported even when things don’t go to plan.
I journaled this morning after months of not, the simple self-care strategy of letting my thoughts free flow onto the page helped me to remember to lean into what I hope will happen, and to trust that if it doesn’t, I will absolutely be ok.
With love as always, Hannah and Team Bird
Image by Zsófia Vera Mezei https://unsplash.com/@zsvm