This week, our incredible coach and facilitator Elloa has written a piece for you. Enjoy…
I’ve been thinking recently about small joys.
Last September, I finally read Margaret Atwood’s stunning 1985 novel, The Handmaid’s Tale. If, like me, you’d somehow missed the book or TV series, it’s an exceptional piece of dystopian fiction which explores life in a totalitarian theocracy and looks at themes of subjugation and powerlessness in women’s lives, and the ways they gain agency in the midst of living within such a strict regime.
It felt very apt to read this in the middle of a global pandemic, where so many of the choices and options we had always experienced as being ours to make were suddenly not allowed (although for very different reasons than in the novel, it must be said!).
Early in the novel, the protagonist Offred finds a message secretly inscripted on the inside of the wardrobe, left by her predecessor. Whilst trying to decipher it, she writes:
“It pleases me to ponder this message. It pleases me to think I’m communing with her, this unknown woman…. It pleases me to know that her taboo message made it through, to at least one other person, washed itself up on the wall of my cupboard, was opened and read by me. Sometimes I repeat the words to myself. They give me a small joy.”
I was particularly struck by the phrase ‘small joy.’ It has stayed with me over the past six months. I’ve talked about it with friends, with my partner, and with the people I work with in my role as a coach and facilitator at Bird.
My personal reflection is that it’s a wonderfully effective yet extremely simple tool in our resilience toolkit. Recently, I’ve been going through a wave of anxiety and depression, like so many people have throughout the pandemic, and this is one of the things that has helped me slowly shift my way out of it.
There are many small joys in my life, even with the world in so much turmoil. I’d like to share a few of my favourites with you.
The spring flowers I planted, which have burst forth with colour, are a small joy.
The cherry blossom tree, which I watched bloom for the first time this year (having moved house in December), was a small joy.
Any time at all spent with my dog Molly Moo is a small joy.
Blue skies are a small and increasingly frequent joy.
The first cup of tea in the morning is a small joy.
Music is a small joy.
Seeing my parents for a walk after five months was a small joy.
Being able to go into some shops this week was a small joy (not for the act of shopping in itself, but because of how normal it felt).
Making a meal rather than putting something pre-prepared in the oven is a small (and messy!) joy.
Seeing groups of 6 gathering on the beach is a small joy.
Going for a coffee outside a cafe yesterday was a small joy.
Hearing good news from my friends’ and family’s lives is a small joy.
The various birds who visit our garden and eat the seeds we put out for them is a small joy.
There have been days when I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by the enormity of the pandemic, the suffering people have been going through, and the vast impact it’s had on life as we knew it. Finding small joys helps anchor me.
There have been days when I’ve felt incredibly low in recent months. The small joys in my life have helped to uplift me just a bit.
There have been days when I’ve felt extremely anxious about all sorts of things. The anxiety has flooded my nervous system with fear and a sense of threat. The small joys in my life have helped soothe that anxiety, taking my focus off the panicky gremlin stories and helping me see the beauty in the world.
They anchor me in the present moment and help me remember that everything we are living through collectively and individually will pass. There are no guarantees about the future, but right here, right now, life is beckoning to us, inviting us to get involved.
When I read The Handmaid’s Tale, I was struck by how Offred could experience such a powerful, hopeful emotion in the midst of a brutal life. My hope in writing this piece is that it will invite you to connect with the things that bring joy into your life, even if they’re small, and that in some way it might offset some of the exhaustion, relentlessness and uncertainty of the time we are living through.
So what is on your small joy list today? What small, simple things add beauty, depth and meaning to your life? And how can you lean into those things just a fraction more today?
With love, Elloa, Hannah and Team Bird