I’ve spent a long time not accepting all the parts of my personality. I’ve spent a long time altering the way I am to fit with the situation or circumstance I am in. I’ve held a deep belief that if I just behave or show up in a certain way I’ll be accepted, I’ll connect with those around me, I’ll be loved.
And it’s exhausting. And also, in many cases, quite inauthentic.
By not fully accepting where I am at, how I’m feeling, and what I’m thinking, and just bringing all that to the situation I’m in (within reason of course, if I’m feeling really loud and energetic I might avoid the library) I am not accepting myself fully. I’m hustling for acceptance, trying to shape shift and fit in rather than just be as I am.
Recently, I’ve noticed more self acceptance within me, I am beating myself up less for feeling a bit lazy, or being a bit silly, or being a bit rubbish with money. And I notice that in the first instance, I am overall calmer and happier, and actually, I’m noticing it is leading to more connection.
When I just come as I am to people around me it doesn’t make them run away, in fact I’ve noticed myself hanging out with the people in my life for longer, there’s more of an ease to the time spent together. I’m not ‘holding it all together, being how I think I should be before finally relaxing once I’m on my own again’, I’m just being, and if I’m just being there’s no where else I need to go and nothing else I need to do in that moment.
Now I write this like I’ve got it down to a tee. I of course don’t, I am a work in progress. But the benefits I’m feeling by even just starting down this path show me that it’s a path worth sticking to. And I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.
With love as always, Hannah and Team Bird