A lightbulb has turned on for me recently about the future.
I, like most of us, mostly think about the choices I am making now in relation to how they’ll make me feel in future. ‘I should buy a house here because it will mean in 20 years I will have security’, or ‘I should learn this skill because in future it will mean I am an expert in it and that will make me happy.’
I have realised though, that even if I do buy a house and have security in future, or if I learn a particular skill and become an expert in it, or if I have a brood of children, or if I have a chicken sanctuary, or if I own a boat, or if I am in a steady relationship, I will STILL feel all the feelings. As long as I am alive, no matter what situation I am in, at various times I will still feel excited, scared, hopeful, regretful, angry, bored, joyful etc etc…..
I think sometimes I make decisions about the future with the belief that if I choose well, I will eradicate the hard feelings. I will get to a point in my life when I only feel joy.
But I don’t think that’s possible. I think as long as we’re alive, we will always feel all the feelings, regardless of what’s going on around us. To be human is to feel, and to feel it all.
And so I was thinking, if that is the case, then maybe the work to do now is to be ok being with all the feelings. If, as Rumi invites us to do, I can be like the guesthouse, if I can be with all the feelings, and if I can trust that they are all impermanent and they will change and shift, then I’ll be ok whatever choices I make and whatever situation I am in in the future.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t make stuff happen in our lives, but if we can decide things from a place of curiosity and interest, rather than (as I so often do) from a place of ‘oh this choice will be the thing that makes me eternally happy!’ then maybe life becomes more of a magical journey, rather than one of chasing that elusive promised land where we never feel negative feelings again.
So my recommendation today is to find a way to be with your emotions, maybe it’s through meditation, or through therapy, or through journaling, or through simply noticing what comes up, find a process that works for you. And hopefully at some point through that process, you will find a sense of peace around all that arises, and then all that’s ‘out there’ becomes a wonderful adventure to explore.
With love as always, Hannah and Team Bird
Image by Ochir-Erdene Oyunmedeg https://unsplash.com/@chiklad