Are you aware of the stories you hold for yourself?
Yesterday, I was in conversation and I heard myself spinning a story. I was discussing self-employment and found myself saying it is a massively challenging experience, I think I might have even used the word petrifying. It is a very familiar story that I live by; I am well versed in talking about the trials and tribulations of walking the path of no boss.
As I headed away from the conversation, and started to lead a group workshop that started off by ‘outing’ the stories the attendees held about the world, about themselves and about the wellbeing of their staff, I realised the ‘self employment is really hard’ story is just that, a story, that for some reason I happily engage in and advocate.
On reflection the story doesn’t serve me at all, in fact it only keeps me ruminating in the idea that life is a struggle. When I think about it even more deeply I notice the story is almost like a comfort blanket, like if life is always a struggle then of course I can’t take the risks that I might truly like to take, it’s all far too difficult to do that.
When I used to work as an advocate for female survivors of domestic abuse there was a sector wide story of scarcity; there wasn’t enough money, or time, or resources. And on a personal level I sat in the story that the challenging relationship I had with a manager meant I couldn’t be fully happy in my work, and again, that life was a struggle. And there was an air of safety in those stories, we all knew where we were with them, and so we all maintained the status quo.
When we ruminate in a story unconsciously without questioning it, the story tends to get bigger, and more powerful. The story, if not tamed and investigated and changed actually stops us from progressing into the light, energetic, creative, innovative human beings that we are.
Building resilience and attending to self-care and self-compassion is about pulling those stories apart, identifying what we are believing and asking whether those beliefs and narratives actually serve us, or whether they are a comfort blanket that stop our evolution.
Take some time to look at the stories you feed about yourself, and about the world, and ask yourself whether the story could change, for the sake of a lighter, easier, more abundant, more creative, more connected life and world.
Sending love as always, Hannah
*Image by Simon Pape www.unsplash.com