I was sat on the beach in the sun the other day, and caught myself feeling nervous about winter. I can’t help but feel concerned that we might go back into a more restricted way of life again, and that it could coincide with darker nights and more oppressive weather. A moment later I realised that rather than being there, in the warmth, listening to the waves on the pebbles, I was taking my attention elsewhere, I was sabotaging the moment of joy.
Brené Brown talks about this and calls it foreboding joy. When you are seeing something wonderful, or things are going really well in your life, or the warm sun is shining on your face, rather than soften into that moment we start to think about what could go wrong. As Brené Brown says, we start ‘dress rehearsing tragedy.’ And it doesn’t help us at all.
Sure, it can help to think about the future a little bit, and make a few plans, and have a vision. BUT it doesn’t help us to always be living in the worst-case scenario in our minds, we miss out on what’s right in front of us when we do this.
Brené Brown’s answer to this is gratitude. To take ourselves out of foreboding joy it’s helpful to name the things we are grateful for right now in this moment. So for me, it’s the sun on my face, the proximity of my home to the beach, all my friends and family, my wonderful work and fellow Birds, the glorious food I get to eat, being my own boss, summer beers on the beach, ice-cold dips in the sea. The list goes on, and for the rest of summer I intend to be grateful and present to all that comes, and to trust that if I spend the summer feeling grateful I’ll be more energised, happy and better equipped to deal with whatever the winter brings.
Photo by Ben Collins on Unsplash