When we want to create change in our lives it’s usually because something is causing us pain. We might want to lose weight and get in shape because we feel lethargic or heavy. Or we might want to leave our job because it isn’t the role it once was or we’re struggling with the office politics. We might want to leave a relationship because deep down we know that it isn’t a space where we can truly be ourselves, it isn’t a space in which we can grow and learn.
It can be super hard to make the change. It feels scary and uncertain to leap, we fear we won’t fly or we’ll feel even more uncomfortable if we do something different. I know this so well, there have been numerous times when I’ve known deep down the situation wasn’t right, and I’ve stayed for longer than was good for me.
However, I’ve done a lot of leaping too, and the tool that has been repeatedly helpful when doing so has been to focus on what I’m moving towards, rather than what I’m leaving behind.
I sit here today eating a bowl of homemade butternut squash and parsnip soup. A year ago my lunch likely would have involved crisps, fizzy pop and some kind of dairy element. I’d have known deep down that those food choices weren’t enabling me to be my best, they came with a promise of a slump in energy later in the day, along with some bloating and the slow decay of my tooth enamel. When I got diagnosed with cancer last year it was the complete kick up the bum I needed to change my eating habits. I knew though, that if I focussed on what not to eat I’d struggle, and so I found something to lean into, rather than listing the things to avoid.
Four weeks ago I started to follow Dr Gregor’s Daily Dozen. My energy goes into ticking off all the fibre and vitamin rich foods he suggests make us most healthy, and I have very little time to think about or miss the highly processed foods I once loved. It’s going well, and I’ve noticed I’ve started focussing on the other areas of my life that need a ‘lean in’ approach too. A lovely little ripple effect seems to be happening.
I’ve started visualising a future that really resonates with my values (one that might not necessarily fit the norm), I’ve increased opportunities to be creative in times when I might usually have wine or numb out in front of the tv. I’m not ‘not watching tv or drinking wine’, I’m just shifting the focus onto something that feels more nurturing and fulfilling for me right now.
When we ‘give something up’ we give it energy. But when we ‘bring something in’ our focus and energy lands there instead. The once unhelpful habit or situation loses its grip on us, and we’re propelled forward with new energy that can often positively impact all areas of our lives.
So, what do you want to lean into moving forward?